so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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