Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Randomize