My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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