I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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