don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
