I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
