tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me