Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?

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(913): ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf? http://tfl.nu/d12x

Replies (44) Good night (713) Bad night (6652)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?

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(504): He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird? http://tfl.nu/yuh6

Replies (67) Good night (7843) Bad night (996)
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(208): View more from Idaho

We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.

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(208): We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands. http://tfl.nu/sr1t

Replies (26) Good night (5990) Bad night (853)
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(713): View more from Texas

My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.

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(713): My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs. http://tfl.nu/vmqk

Replies (34) Good night (3226) Bad night (738)
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(210): View more from Texas

I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.

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(210): I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper. http://tfl.nu/rcv4

Replies (76) Good night (4771) Bad night (1953)
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(317): View more from Indiana

he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....

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(317): he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal..... http://tfl.nu/xm36

Replies (29) Good night (6485) Bad night (1414)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life

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(267): while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life http://tfl.nu/pj1v

Replies (16) Good night (7653) Bad night (757)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.

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(519): Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen. http://tfl.nu/rpyn

Replies (9) Good night (2275) Bad night (765)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.

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(580): Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process. http://tfl.nu/pl4v

Replies (14) Good night (730) Bad night (1657)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right

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(+44): I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right http://tfl.nu/f22x

Replies (20) Good night (2495) Bad night (565)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.

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(678): I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club. http://tfl.nu/jmao

Replies (13) Good night (1061) Bad night (502)
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(208): View more from Idaho

This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...

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(208): This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king... http://tfl.nu/nr91

Replies (1) Good night (517) Bad night (278)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives

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(508): Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives http://tfl.nu/526e

Replies (5) Good night (265) Bad night (842)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.

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(865): I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science. http://tfl.nu/16xh

Replies (5) Good night (1050) Bad night (177)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.

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(218): Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning. http://tfl.nu/ybgs

Replies (3) Good night (216) Bad night (706)

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