I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF