you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
