and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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