just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
