what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Girls should come with a carfax report
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
