My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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