Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
