There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
