I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
