Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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