I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
