Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
