I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
