Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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