I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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