How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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