Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
