Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
