It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
BRING THE BAGELS
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
