Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
