as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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