bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I want a musical about memes.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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