She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
