You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
