I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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