my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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