whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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