ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I FOUND THE LEGS
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
