If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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