Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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