I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
