The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
