I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
