Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
we're chasing vodka with high fives
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
