I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize
