come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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