I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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