What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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