i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
