you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
