I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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