Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
