So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
