She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
