Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
