So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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