Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize