Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Oh god it's open bar.
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