I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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