That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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