Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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