you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
