Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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