I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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