I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
