Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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